5 Books for Raising Strong Girls
The recent interview in The Washington Post with Anne Marie Slaughter is a call to action from a woman who rethought what it means for women to “have it all”. The reaction from her article in The Atlantic caused her to reflect about how society and organizations devalue the caretaker roles such as teachers, nurses, and especially mothers.
5 Books for Raising Strong Girls
In Slaughter’s book, Unfinished Business, she talks about the metamorphosis she believes is crucial to changing how organizations view women. She advocates getting rid of terms like stay-at-home moms and stay-at-home-dads and replacing it with an adjective that reflects it as a job. Slaughter writes about the need for giving dual identities to men as working-fathers just like working-mothers because they do not HELP women run the household. Fathers are not babysitters.
If we are going to change the mindset of equality among genders for the purpose of raising an enlightened next generation, we need to teach girls to raise their voice and stand up for themselves like we do for boys. Today, I want to give you 5 books for raising strong girls like Anne Marie Slaughter to continue to break through the glass ceiling.
1. You are Strong Enough to Save Yourself
If you ask my oldest daughter for one of my biggest catch phrases, she would say “Princesses can save themselves mama.” With boys and girls, I believe in teaching strength that comes from within. Children need to learn a healthy independence that you don’t need a partner to save you or anyone to take care of you. You don’t need to wait to share your life with someone else to fully live your life.
I love the book by Rebecca C. Hains, The Princess Problem: Guiding Our Girls Through the Princess-Obsessed Years. This book shows how the princess culture can teach positive values, but can also teach negative stereotypes about race, gender, and beauty.
Raising media-literate daughters does not mean never showing them a princess show/movie. In fact, the newest Disney princess Moana is the first princess without a love interest. 80 years ago when Disney started making princess movies, “they taught us to wait for our princes to slay the dragons at our doors. Now they’re teaching our children to open the door, face the dragon and kill them with kindness“.
2. Being Quiet Requires Strength
My mother is one of the strongest people I know, however her strength comes out quietly. She showed me how powerful it is to stay quiet in a very loud world. Susan Cain sparked a worldwide conversation when she published Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. She recently published a book for children titled: Quiet Power: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids geared for parents of children who fall more on the introverted side. Cain showcases the strengths in girls like my mother; the ability to concentrate, listen and to think deeply and critically that are equally as strong as outspokenness and participation.
My mother will go out and speak publicly and take on leadership roles when needed. However, as an introvert, she needed alone time to charge her batteries after being with people. My husband is also an introvert and you would never be able to tell from his daily job. I know from living with him that he desperately needs quiet time to himself to function. As a society, we are prone to value extroverts over introverts in sports, parties, and classrooms. However, we need to teach our daughters both personalities can be very powerful.
3. The Strength of Unconditional Love
The day I became a mother was not what I expected. I did not feel this immediate bond that so many mothers talk about. I felt more like “who is dumb enough to hand me a child because I have NO clue what I am doing?” At first, I was just doing whatever I could to keep my little human alive.
When my daughter went to the ER for the first time at 5 months old, it was then that I experienced unconditional love for my child. I would have given my own life so that my daughter would not have any pain. Most parents will do whatever it takes to ensure their kids are safe, loved, and experiencing joy in their lives. Show me an involved parent, and I will show you a superhero.
Because of this sacrificial love, often parents hinder their children’s success by falling into the instinct of protecting children from ANY type of hurt. The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica Lahey shows parents how to model and teach resiliency. We find this book especially useful with our biracial girls that will encounter ignorance and stereotypes their entire lives. How you respond to a child’s mistakes and problems when they are young like homework and tying shoes will give them strength for tackling much larger problems when they are older.
By 6 years old, studies show girls have already fallen behind boys in their self-confidence. Little girls need their parents to model going out and conquering dreams and goals no matter how scary it may seem. I recently sang in a church choir for exactly that reason. During the songs, I was sweating and nervous with my heart beating out of my chest. However, my daughter only saw me smiling with my head held high. I wanted nothing to do with singing in front of people, but I had to put my money where my mouth is and step up to the plate.
4. Setting Strong Personal Boundaries
Young girls need to find their voice to stand up for themselves. They need strategies when being disrespected, bullied, or intimidated into doing something they know is wrong. In today’s world, the internet has made it very easy for children to be exposed to personal attack.
I believe parents need to train their children to be able to communicate their feelings. When someone else is trying to coerce them, they need to practice what they are going to say before the situation occurs. Helping children set their personal boundaries in stone is giving them a life-altering gift.
My husband and I read Little Girls Can Be Mean: Four Steps to Bully-Proof Girls in the Early Grades by Michelle Anthony together. In Pre-School, our daughter had already experienced bullying. This heinous behavior will only worsen as she gets older. Instilling a confidence in girls that they can be outspoken and loud when they feel attacked is powerful beyond measure.
Read more HERE for teaching young girls about personal boundaries with 5 of my favorite children’s books.
5. Strong Connections to Community
Parents who raise their girls with a strong tie to their community is promoting emotional and mental strength. I believe in exploration, adventures, and traveling the world with children as often as possible. My opinion is that cultural experiences create a more tolerant, altruistic, globally minded child. This also means that a child has a strong connection with their family, friends, and neighborhood communities.
Emotional intelligence is cultivated when a child sees their parents, grandparents, neighbors, coaches, teachers, etc. coming together as a strong and united force. Household chores should be followed by neighborhood clean ups. Prioritize a family dinner after a museum field trip. After a sports competition, there should be a time for reading aloud. A child should have a very tight bond with their family and their community. They should also have an appreciation for cultures, societies, and traditions other than their own. Community building should be prioritized daily, through reading diverse books, traveling, or going on virtual field trips, etc.
A phenomenal read for building self-confidence is UnSelfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in Our All-About-Me World by Dr. Michele Borba. In this book, Borba explores nine research-based habits to build kids’ empathy and compassion to raise a globally minded child.
Wonder Woman has recently taken the world by storm as a superhero for both boys and girls. Beyond her strength and beauty, her greatest superpower is her empathy. Read more HERE on why we think Wonder Woman is the ultimate shero for global citizens!
Bonus read:
Parenting Beyond Pink and Blue: How to Raise your Kids Free of Gender Stereotypes by Christia Spears Brown. This fabulous resource discusses how to use language that can help children fight gender stereotypes. No more labels such as “girly girl” or “tomboy” allowed!
50 Diverse Children’s Books for Strong Girls
In my home and classroom, we read books about all kinds of characters. We even collect books as souvenirs from our travels around the world. When it comes to our personal bookshelves, my husband and I strongly believe that representation in literature is crucial for our biracial daughters.
The main characters in many classic and popular picture books- whether they are human, animal, truck, or a crayon- are almost always male. As Jennie Yabroff put it, we should want to show our kids that girls can be anything — and anything can be a girl.
Read on for my top 50 Diverse Children’s Books for Girls!
What are your favorite books for raising strong girls? Tell us your favorites in the comment section below!!
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07/02/2017 @ 7:32 pm
Love this list !!! I’m going to pick up a few of these for my nieces !
07/03/2017 @ 2:41 pm
That is wonderful RM! I love when the whole family supports the littles!!
07/01/2017 @ 10:35 pm
I need to check out a few of these from the library. I have a very headstrong 6 year old, and I need these right now!
07/02/2017 @ 12:39 am
I am with you Krystal. My 6 year old is as stubborn as they come and it is such a great strength if we can put all that energy in a positive direction. Thank you for commenting!!
07/01/2017 @ 8:04 pm
Hi first of all let me say I loved your writing style. The books you mentioned will surely gonna get them as I do wish to raise a strong girl. Thanks for sharing.
07/02/2017 @ 12:40 am
Thank you Jiya! Appreciate the kind words and the positive feedback! Let me know what you think of the books. I love discussing books with people. I am also on Goodreads so you can find me there too! Thanks for commenting.
07/01/2017 @ 5:49 pm
These are such strong, no-fluff books. I’m over here with my jaw dropped. 🙂 I had never heard of any of them before, but as we’re raising two girls of our own, I’m going to have to hold on to this list! Thank you.
07/02/2017 @ 12:42 am
I am so glad I could recommend a few. I know there just isn’t time to research all the time, so I love when someone else does it for me!:) Hope you enjoy the books and let me know what you think. I hang out on Goodreads as well if you are looking for more great books. Thanks for the kind words and great feedback Melly!
07/01/2017 @ 5:21 pm
I love this! I do not have a daughter but I think that more little girls should be encouraged to read and read empowering books. Not enough girls are being told that they are strong and they are worthy. Thanks for sharing!
07/02/2017 @ 12:44 am
I totally agree. I recommend these books to parents of boys as well because they will have to interact with girls and it is important that they use language and actions that support gender equality. Thank you so much for your support and comment Sierra!
07/01/2017 @ 3:37 pm
I have 2 daughters who are 7 & 12. I am going to look into these books especially for my oldest who has a hard time always trying to fit in. Thanks for sharing
07/02/2017 @ 12:53 am
12 is the perfect age for a lot of application from these books. Even your 7 year old is getting bombarded with notions of what girls “should” be like and actively reading and watching for signs where these principles can be discussed is so very valuable. Thanks for commenting Jenn and I hope you enjoy reading this. Be sure to let me know how you enjoy them! I love having good book discussions.
06/05/2017 @ 3:01 am
These are so great. I will add them to my GoodReads account for future reference! 🙂
06/05/2017 @ 3:08 am
I am on Goodreads as well! Add me as a friend if you like!
06/05/2017 @ 2:52 am
I have a two year old girl and she is already more strong minded than I ever was! I believe I will need to read one or two of these. Bookmarked!
06/05/2017 @ 2:54 am
That is fantastic to hear! Little girls who will grow into world leaders!????
06/04/2017 @ 12:44 am
Great round up! I don’t have any little ones yet myself, but sometimes I buy a couple of awesome & empowering books to be ready one day. 😀
06/04/2017 @ 12:51 am
Yes!???????????? Better to read them now! No one pulling on your leg to distract you while you read!????
06/03/2017 @ 8:29 pm
There are some great books on this short but amazing list–thank you for putting it together!
06/03/2017 @ 5:11 pm
I don’t have kids but this was a great read, so I had to pin it. I shared it with a group board 🙂
06/03/2017 @ 5:23 pm
Thank you Claire!!
05/29/2017 @ 2:30 am
These sound like some great books for young ladies! I’m due with a little girl this summer so I’ll have to be finding her some good books in the next few years!
05/29/2017 @ 12:01 pm
Congratulations!! Hope your little girl enjoys a lifetime of good books.
05/28/2017 @ 2:34 pm
I love this book selection! It’s so important to raise daughters who feel empowered!
05/28/2017 @ 12:28 pm
This is so helpful for parenting girls !! Yes we need to educate our girls that they need to strong and not to be coward !
05/28/2017 @ 8:13 am
Oh I love this post. It’s so important to teach young women and girls empowerment and personal strength early. My parents raised three girls like this and I will certainly be doing the same if I have children. Going to
Go check out the books you mentioned now.
05/28/2017 @ 10:27 am
I am so happy you found these books relevant and helpful Mel. All my best and happy reading!
05/28/2017 @ 1:08 am
I have a 2-year-old daughter and I think it so important to teach them right from the begin to be strong and independent. Awesome list of books!
05/28/2017 @ 1:36 am
Your daughter is lucky to have you!! Good job mama!
05/27/2017 @ 9:44 pm
I love this post! My husband and I want to have kids soon and if we have girls – I will now have these in my head. Thank you!
05/27/2017 @ 10:04 pm
I think they are fantastic if you have boys too! Our young boys need to be actively taught how to engage with girls with respect in the small, nuanced ways that are often overlooked. Thanks for your comment.
05/27/2017 @ 3:11 pm
What a great list! I will definitely be saving for later as my daughter is only 5 months now.
05/27/2017 @ 12:45 am
I will definitely be reading the first book. I was actually quite happy that Moana didn’t have a romantic component at all, I think there needs to be more stories like that to inspire young girls.
05/26/2017 @ 5:13 pm
Wow.. Thats a great compilation. These really seem inspiring and a must read for young girls. Or I would actually say individuals
05/26/2017 @ 5:36 pm
Agreed, definitely need to educate boys with these resources as well!! Thanks for commenting!!
05/26/2017 @ 3:23 am
Great list! I have 3 kids (all in their 20’s – 2 of which are girls) and I love how independent both of them have become. These are wonderful ideas and books to get them in the right track from the get go. Thank you ????
05/26/2017 @ 3:25 am
I feel like I will blink and my girls will be in their 20s too. Time is flying. I hope and pray my girls will be independent as well! Thanks for commenting Cori!
05/26/2017 @ 1:34 am
Bethany,
As a therapist this post gives me hope for our future women. We need to continually be holding them up in resources and giving them tools for their future strength. I love seeing contemporary resources that are so incredibly needed in this hard time of the world!
Stacy
05/26/2017 @ 1:42 am
Thank you for your kind words Stacy. I feel the exact same way. Now more than ever, we have to FIGHT for our girls to be empowered to change the culture of both subtle and overt misogyny. I feel SO strongly about giving my girls the tools to be present and mindful, but also fierce and unrelenting. Thank you so much for commenting!!
05/26/2017 @ 12:54 am
As a mother of 2 girls my dream is to make of them strong independent women, empatetic , merciful and caring for the needs of others, able to feel in their own flesh the happiness and sadness in others. Quite hard in this XXI century when we are more disconected of the needs of others, but Im sure people like you are putting many parents like me on the right path. Thanks a lot.
05/26/2017 @ 1:09 am
Cheers to us mamas of girls Vanessa! We have our work cut out for us, but the effort WILL pay off! Thank you for your encouragement!
05/26/2017 @ 12:09 am
I love your selections! And the shout out to Moana (I love her!).
I’d add Matilda to the list. I always loved that book as a little girl.
05/26/2017 @ 12:12 am
Matilda is definitely an all time favorite. Cheers to girls with the superpower to read!
05/25/2017 @ 11:31 pm
I don’t have girls but I completely agree it’s so important to give girls as many resources as possible to teach them how to be strong, independent and to believe in themselves.
05/25/2017 @ 11:47 pm
Thanks Lisa! I also believe in educating our young boys about how to treat the opposite gender. For example, phrases like “you are crying like a girl” are common on the playground. Girls are treated as the weaker sex in so many nuanced ways from a very early age and we can help change this through the language we use.
05/25/2017 @ 11:11 pm
Oh, these look great! I have 3 girls so I will definitely be checking them out. Thanks for detailing it all so well.
05/25/2017 @ 11:28 pm
I am so happy to help! They are life changing books for sure!